Marriage Advice From the Aisles of Wal-Mart

24 Jul

Here I am writing you all, after a longer than anticipated break from blogging.  In the beginning of 2013 I felt like I was hitting a stride in my schedule and routine and how I was going to fit everything (being a wife and mom to three kiddos, house duties, and homeschool, etc.) into a day.  Then, I got the positive pregnancy test.  We are so excited to be expecting a beautiful baby girl this September! She is a large blessing to us, but after miscarrying the month before I was nervous and worried and not wanting to share with others (except Gerad, obviously).  The amount of time between my last blog post became more and more and I felt more and more guilty, like I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain and I should just not post at all.  Then, the morning sickness hit and I went through a period of time where I struggled greatly! (I will post more on this later, but I felt like I wasn’t living like I wanted to be, so what could I share here?) I struggled with finding the time or energy to write, ideas for posts didn’t just pop into my head like they did before.  This post from Lisa Jo Baker came across my facebook feed, and while it was meant to be encouraging and it was; I felt like I was failing and being fake to you if I posted here, instead of just sharing my struggles (the thing I struggle with the most and yet, wish others would do more of).

Lisa Jo said this,

I need to mother less and wife more.

Talk about a smack in the face.  I realized that while I am pregnant I all too often put the little life inside of me in front of the man I love, even, in front of my relationship with Christ, the one who gave me the blessing of life inside of me.  So, I have been working on these things, I have been trying to mother less and be a great wife more.  I have been making it a priority get up earlier (even though my flesh is exhausted) to study and spend time in the Word.  You know what?  It’s paying off. I am nowhere near perfect, and have plenty to work on, but I am working on it, with Christ.  I am letting Him refine me through a closer relationship with Him.  Maybe you aren’t pregnant, maybe its something different that is causing you to feel like you don’t measure up.  Here’s the thing, we don’t measure up, we can’t measure up, but each day His grace and mercy are new and available to us.  Take the step of faith today to work on “that thing” you won’t regret it.

And just as a funny story, the other day I was in Wal-Mart and an older (read, grandma type) lady told me she felt sorry for me (the expected high temperature was 105).  This struck up a conversation about our kids.  She had 11 children and thinks it great when she sees big families out (because people seem to think 4 kiddos is a big family).  She said she used to get asked all the time if she knew what caused that? (something, we have been asked many times.) Her response was, “Of course we do, but we enjoy it!”  I did not expect that from her, but it made me chuckle as I walked away from our conversation.  She had no idea how refreshing it was to hear a positive story about marriage in the aisles of Wal-Mart.

Here’s to more blog posts coming your way :)

8 Responses to “Marriage Advice From the Aisles of Wal-Mart”

  1. oysterbed7 July 24, 2013 at 7:58 am #

    Welcome back. What emotions you been through. My heart is glad for where your family is now. “Mother less and wife more,” is such great advice and oh so hard to put into practice sometimes. But, you are so right! That’s why the Lord gives us His strength!! Good things do come out of wally world occasionally. ;) cute story!

  2. Lois July 24, 2013 at 9:09 am #

    Hope you’re past the sickness now and are starting to feel more like yourself. I know that part of pregnancy is anything but easy! Thanks for the posts you do put up. Whether they come often, or are few and far between, they are appreciated. But your man and your children come first!

    • Valerie July 24, 2013 at 11:43 am #

      Thanks Lois, I am past the morning sickness and now starting to feel the heat of the summer :) Thanks for your encouraging words!

  3. Strawberry Short Cake July 28, 2013 at 9:55 am #

    “Mother less and wife more.” Great advice! Thanks so much for posting…may God give you strength and some cooler air! :D

  4. Cassie August 20, 2013 at 5:11 pm #

    I loved reading this post. We have been married 2 years in October. I work from home and only imagine what it will be like when we decide to get pregnant. This post will stick with me. Thank you for sharing! I can only imagine all the things you are facing. But I encourage you to tell us about them. Others are going through the same thing I am sure! Thank you for being open and honest!

    PS. I must say: I LOVE your blog format and header. Very clean and elegant!

  5. Erin April 20, 2014 at 7:41 pm #

    Congratulations on your newly expected little one. I just found your blog and am intrigued and encouraged…it’s as if I am hearing a familiar voice beckoning me to listen. I recently found out that I am expecting number 7 and we are thrilled! But we are also tired and nauseated and very distracted from everything normal. Ha Ha, it does my soul good to know that I am not alone in my dilemma of how to be a great wife and go through the beginning of pregnancy. And, anyway, the second trimester is coming, and I am like a hot lioness on the prowl for my husband by that time.
    I am reminded by all of this to rest in the LORD and be thankful unto Him.

  6. livinginblurredlines April 21, 2014 at 6:42 am #

    We have seasons in our lives that shift priorities about. So long as we recognize that they are temporary and work towards putting things back in their right order, no need to beat yourself up about the season. When I suffered morning sickness and severe exhaustion during pregnancy, everything fell to the wayside until i recovered. Those are times family needs to step in and care for the ailing spouse….not whine in a corner about what they are not getting. After I gave birth, my husband fell seriously ill and all focus was on him getting better, not my sudden resurgence of sexual neediness. Now, we are both in good health and our priorities have been realigned in proper order. For better AND worse. Sickness AND health. And our sex life is better than it ever was!

  7. janetberridge July 31, 2014 at 6:41 am #

    Congrats! Its hard to juggle it all we must organize our lives and goals. Keep moving forward, have a healthy pregnancy, and “water that lawn” when you can. Cheers JB

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