Sexual Satisfaction Survey: The Results Are In! Part 2

11 Oct

Here’s the rest of the responses.  If you missed Part 1, please read it first.

  • How much I enjoy giving/receiving oral sex
  • I have shared this before but I don’t think she truly believes me when I say that my desire for sexual interaction is more out of a desire for greater emotional and spiritual connection than it is for the physical aspect.
  • I wish she would be willing to try something different/change things up a bit. I would love to have oral sex with to her and from her…………frustrated – i can’t get her to talk about it
  • I get as much if not more out of sheing her experience pleasure, as I do from having my own orgasm.
  • Dont change a thing!
  • Most enjoyment for me is to see her have pleasure.
  • Sexual energy is the difference between ok sex and great sex. More than any position, foreplay, use of vibrator or any location.
  • Withholding sex is abuse. Sex is fundamental to marriage and if you do not want to “get fixed” then true marriage is over, whether we live together or not.
  • It is Gods desire
  • Her affection and attention is a shield from sin. Among all the other benefits emotionally, and physical. We both were carnal and living in sin when we met, and are still dealing with the scars. There is recent improvement in our commitment to the lord and each other, but the scars are deep and we have a long way to go.
  • having a desire for her sexually once a week doesn’t make me a pervert or a sex addict and pornography doesn’t give me what I want, only she does.
  • That I will do whatever it takes to ensure she enjoys sex as much or more than I do.
  • Sex is more than physical release, it is heart to heart. It hurts – a lot – when you reject me
  • Feel the freedom to enjoy new, fun things, like oral sex and finding your g spot.
  • It is not all about the physical act.
  • She really is sexy to me.
  • It’s important to me that you’re into having sex and that you let me know that you want sex.
  • our situation also adversely hurts her and our family.
  • You don’t know what you’re missing – I’m sure God intended sex to be a lot more satisfying for you too.
  • I want her to know the joy of sex.
  • Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together, what does she need from me, outside of the bedroom, to make it more enjoyable
  • How difficult it is to stay away from sin when my need is not met.
  • its important..and I feel loved when we are having sex regularly
  • I know it’s not a “need” like oxygen and food, but it’s so helpful and constructive to my sense of self, “need” is not too strong a word. I’m scared of the possibility (however remote) that some other woman would, for whatever reason, show me that kind of valuing attention while I’m so hungry for it because you haven’t given it to me. We have a phenomenal marriage in so many ways; once we go ahead and have sex you get an orgasm, and have a good time. Why can’t you just find a way to go along, not to fake it, but just try, even just once a week? I miss that part of being with you.
  • That when she is being herself (rather than living up to expectations) I am the most at peace with her and able to be free myself
  • Abstinence in the marriage is going to cause the dissolution of the marriage.
  • I really want ot satisfy you, but it seems I can’t. I love you so much.
  • Enjoy sex with me as much as you can
  • I really do need sex to feel connected to you.
  • At about the 15yr mark of our 18yr marriage we had a big blowup about sex… one of many. But this time she got it… ie how important sex is to me.
  • Since then sex has just been getting better and better. I’m extremely pleased with our sex life these days.
  • She values our sex life more now, then when we were first married.
  • You are a beautiful woman and even more beautiful than ever when you think you are beautiful.
  • I am not in a mental place to withstand the rejection of sexual refusal – and promises not kept for “later” or “tomorrow” or “when we wake up” hurts almost as bad as flat out rejection.
  • You want me to talk to you. But I talk to you way more often than we have sex. Sex is as important a method of communication as talking is, and it is my way of connecting with you.
  • We both would say we have a truly great marriage in every area but sexually. We love each other deeply, enjoying being together, doing life and ministry together. We have a great family, a son and a daughter who are married to godly spouses. We have grandchildren that are being raised in godly, Christ centered families. My wife and I do fun and exciting things together. There was a time when we had a good sex life together in which we both climaxed every time and we are very knowledgeable. We have even taught a very intimate marriage class that was biblically centered but really was a stretch for some in our church. We spoke and gave instruction that was candid, biblical, clinically based. Two years ago she stopped taking HRT as encouraged by her OB-GYN. Her vagina and her interest in sex dried up to nothing, literally. Her vaginal walls thinned and atrophied. I loving encouraged her to consult her doctor, but she waited until her next scheduled appointment. Her doctor was taken back by her condition and unable to examine her due to condition. We have tried everything and iI have researched everything. Coconut oil is a lifesaver but it cannot cure/create desire. I love her beyond belief, we talk about it and we will have sex once then not again for months. I do not demand and just die to it. She is a very beautiful girl that is very well liked and admired by all. She is capable, bright, articulate and has a servant spirit. She does not hate sex but it is a lot of work mentally and physically for her. I a trusting The Lord and resting in Him and hopeful.
  • i’m trying to change whatever I can about myself to make this part of our relationship great…I wish she would do the same.
  • Her lack of desire is tied to a medical issue, so I under stand it.
  • That her limited sharing of physical affections is extremely demoralizing and discouraging to me.
  • That regular sex is a legitimate need in a healthy marriage.
  • I want you to be active in our sex life…not just laying there. I feel like theres no love in it because you never initiate it and dont get involved other than just laying there.
  • how important it is to me
  • If you would make me and our sex life your top priority, I would feel so loved and you’d probably see many other areas in our marriage improve.
  • Sex is very important to me and to our marriage.
  • I wish she would make wearing lingerie or at least matching underwear a higher priority.
  • Grow up!
  • That sex is an important and healthy part of marriage.
  • I need to have sex more often when I want it and not always have to wait until you allow it to happen.
  • Sex is my way of saying and showing my love for you
  • That just because she isn’t in the mood or tired, a 5 minutes hand job would be just fine.
  • sex is important for me to feel close to her
  • My need for it and and the effects of her rejection on me
  • I realy do not feel loved at all even though you say you do love me.
  • I wish we had sex more often
  • I need sex to connect with her.
  • My sex drive and desire for sex is not because I am “oversexed”. There is a deeper emotional component to sex for me that she does not seem to give me credit for.
  • More oral sex
  • If I don’t feel like she has a strong sexual desire for me the I don’t feel like she loves me. Apathy toward our sex life is apathy toward me and our marriage. Her lack of desire to do anything to increase her desire is as bad as any other sexual unfaithfulness.
  • There will always be a reason or excuse not to make love to your husband, but just remeber, if you reject him, that effects how he feels about himself. And also keep in mind that you want things that you demand that he does and if he dosent do those things you demand change, when he talks about it listen and change. Just do it.
  • intimacy is sacred and breathes life into a marriage
  • That pleasing her is the most important thing to me.
  • Oral sex (giving and receiving) is VERY important to me
  • It”s not just about quantity but also quality! i want to feel like I can please you!
  • Initiate sex
  • learn how to enjoy sex, orgasm
  • That I need her to express desire for me and sex is needed to connect emotionally with her.
  • Open up to idea of oral sex
  • How hurtful it is that she just doesn’t ever think about sex, that whenever I ask her how long it has been, she answers just a few days or a week, even if it has been over 2-3 weeks In the past, we have had sex only 5-6 times a year, and she didn’t seem to even notice.
  • She is irresistible even through 4 kids and weight gain and I love her so much. And it would help if she would initiate consistently.
  • Just do it
  • Try new things
  • Sex isn’t just something I want, but something I need.
  • I love you, I need you, I want you… you are the most beautiful woman to me in the whole world. Please don’t let your body image keep us apart!
  • I need to feel her wanting to be close to me in order to fend off the stress of life
  • Initiate
  • I have no idea. I don’t believe she would listen.
  • Im here for you no matter what happened when your father sexually abuse you as a child. Please trust me and believe me.
  • How important it is forger to be affectioate toward me.
  • When she regets me sexually it makes me feel unwanted and unloved. I need for her show me she wants me as much as I want her.
  • Be more involved emotionally
  • I need it; I need her to want it and initiate it to show me she still loves me, that I’m a priority.
  • I enjoy bringing her to climax and we need that in our marriage as well as my climaxing
  • It seems to make our overall relationship better.
  • I wish our sex life was as high on priority list of what she does for me, as cooking ,cleaning, and taking care of physical needs….
  • It’s more about the connection than the physical act.
  • to get her understand what (lack of) sex meens to me
  • Sex is to me what coffee is to you!
  • That sex for me is like emotional connection is to her. Im running on vapor most of the time, that I want her to actually want me to make her feel good, instead of just having sex out of some obligation :(
  • It’s how I feel connected.
  • Sex is how I connect with her
  • I would love to have you more often!
  • How important sex is with her and how important it should be (or I wish it would be) to her
  • That having sex with her means so much more than just the physical act. That when she turns me down it’s pretty much like saying she doesn’t love me. But most of all how great it would make me feel for her to initiate or even desire sex half as much as I do.
  • the importance is more than physical release it is the connection and focus on each other
  • Find more time for it.
  • Take a deep breath and relax. It is not your fault you do not orgasm every time we have sex.
  • Sex makes me feel connected and valued
  • The way a woman plays with dolls and dreams of being a mother, and the way a woman dresses as a bride and dreams of her wedding day, that’s the way that every night, every day a young man plays with his penis and dreams of his wedding night and all the nights after. Sex is a big, big, big deal and if it weren’t for the promise of sex no normal man would ever take on the responsibilities of marriage. Without sex, being married isn’t worth it, because a man can legally and Biblically have everything in the marital relationship – except the sex – without being married. God’s permission to have sex is the ONLY reason any man needs to get married. When it’s missing, it’s a BIG BIG BIG BIG deal – just as much as it would be for the wife if there were “no conversation” or “no romance.” There are all sorts of Christian and even secular counselors that tell men how important it is to “go slow”, “be romantic,” “be giving,” “be chivalrous” and all that stuff, and rightfully so as it is important and there is no excuse for a man NOT to be those things to his wife. But it is equally important – and it is too bad that there is not equal guidance/pressure on women to understand 0 that it is a wife’s JOB AND RESPONSIBILITY to be a satisfying sexual partner for her husband – it is what she signs up for, and she is every bit as much a failure as a wife if she doesn’t do that as a husband is if he doesn’t do the things he is supposed to do. Yet that is not the way this society operates. A man who shirks his responsibilities as a husband gets all of the blame (and rightfully so). A wife who shirks her sexual responsibility – oh, well, no big deal, and furthermore her neglected husband is still “blamed” or at least made to feel guilty if he does anything less than just suck it in and put up with it like a martyr and continue to do all of his responsibilities anyway because Biblically he’s supposed to love his wife as Christ loves the church – fully and unconditionally – no matter how rottenly his wife treats him by failing to meet his sexual needs.
  • Just do it! Practice makes perfect. 3 quickies a month and NOTHING else is WORSE than nothing. If you don’t want me, you shouldn’t have married me. Don’t preach to me when 1 Cor 7:1-5 is glaring back at you. (Sorry, I vented a little)
  • Lack of sex is killing me….
  • It’s not just sex, its a connection. It is the second step to figuring out many areas of disconnect. After making sure that our relationship with God is flowing, sex makes “life” flow and issues of the world fade. If my wife and I are together, nothing is impossible
  • I feel blessed to have you as my wife. I have absolutely no complaints about our sex life. You’re the best.
  • I have tried e everything I can think of and my wife does not enjoy sex. She does it for me and I get full enjoyment from her happiness.
  • Sex is more than the physical act. Sex represents a greater level of intimacy on a mental and emotional level. Being physically present is nice, but emotionally present is what makes sex and intimacy great.
  • Less is not more, more is more. Sex = connection to me
  • How dificult it is on me psychologically. She thinks it’s all about just physical release.
  • I don’t feel love without it
  • Sex is how I feel connected to her. We can both open up to each other and be so present with just ourselves. When I’m turned down 90-95% of the time it’s like my needs are unimportant. As long as her needs (which don’t seem to contain sex) are met then there’s no reason mine should need to be met and just be happy with the relationship as it is.
  • Sex is my most basic need to feel loved, accepted, connected, and when that is brushed aside I feel like I don’t matter.
  • How it is the easiest way for her to make me feel loved and appreciated.

One Response to “Sexual Satisfaction Survey: The Results Are In! Part 2”

  1. anonymousMe October 11, 2012 at 9:06 am #

    I’m late to this game, I guess:

    Understand that just because you say you “never reject me” and that I am “the only guy you know who has full access, but doesnt take advantage of it”, doesnt make it true. Men “fish” all day, testing the sexual waters to see how our wives respond and react. When you put us at the bottom end of your priority list and wait until the end of the day, we dont feel like it anymore! Men are not the sexual beasts society makes us out to be. We wake up early and go to bed late, we get tired, even to the point of not wanting sex. And making yourself available to us is great, but delivery is everything! “Take me now!” comes across a lot better than “Do you want to be with me? Here I am, go ahead.”. And yes, when even our flirting is rejected, its a rejection that hurts. Play along with us when we are flirting and playing in the house or out in public. We are TESTING THE WATERS, and telling us to stop or go away hurts. It’s a rejection of us and is the equivalent of us telling you “We are in a public place, please dont talk to me.” I love my wife with all my heart, soul and body. I am not perfect. I have made (huge) mistakes in the past, as has she. But God has given us grace, and WE CAN WORK PAST THOSE ISSUES, and transform our marriage, and our sex life, into something that is beyond our most fantastic dream.

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