Last week, Gerad and I had a chance to get away and on the drive home (3 hours or so) we chatted about life, the kids etc. Gerad asked me a question that I really had to think about, he had to be vulnerable to ask me the question and yet I’ve still done nothing to remedy the problem. He asked me why I don’t compliment him more, and it was not in a I’m fishing for a compliment way, but a “am I still the one for you way?” See, my love language is time, and Gerad’s is words of affirmation, something very low on my list. I’m not filling his “love tank.”
And that was a week ago, I’ve been so
busy selfish I haven’t taken the conversation we had to heart, I haven’t respected him. Sure it’s a little thing and he knows I love him, but it’s one of those things I think we as wives can let go, (as you can see, I have) because it seems so insignificant to us. It’s not insignificant, it’s our husband, the man we pledged our life to, the one we said we’d respect and cherish. If I don’t fill his “love tank” and let him know what he means to me then how can he feel respect from me in any other area. Yesterday, I heard Emerson Eggerichs on the radio, he was talking about loving and respecting our husbands and he said,
No husband feels fond feelings of love and affection in his heart toward a wife he thinks despises who he is as a human being.
When I heard that, it hit my between the eyes like a two by four, sure it’s not my love language to give lots of words of affirmation, but it is my hubby’s. If I don’t fill his love tank with what he needs how is he to know that I do not despise him, but actually love him?
This is what I am working on as a wife, being intentional about the things I say to Gerad, I often say things that don’t matter at all, and then forget to tell him how much I love and adore him because he is who God created him to be. What are you working on as a wife?