Ten Things Every Husband Wishes His Wife Knew About Sex, But Doesn’t Know Quite How To Tell Her

5 Aug

I am so excited to share a guest post with you all today.  It’s written by my hubby who blogs over at mission:husband  (If you ever read his blog, which is a great resource for us wives, it’s like free access into our guys’ minds, you’ll know his posts are longer than mine, but worth it!). Gerad and I were having a discussion along the lines of this post and I said, “Hey, wanna write a guest post?”  He gladly agreed, so, without further ado, here’s Gerad.

I get a lot of emails from Wives wanting to “get inside the heads” of their husbands when it comes to how he acts, and reacts about sex. I realize all husbands are different, and some prefer some things over others, but overall, I feel that there are a lot of wives out there who REALLY WANT to make their sex life with their husband what God intended it to be, but sometimes get frustrated by not understanding why he’s always asking for sex, even when they just had it, or what he means when he says things like “I just want you to want me”.

So it’s for this reason, I decided to write this post. It’s not to make wives feel inadequate, or bad about what they’re not doing right, but rather to let you inside a guys head for a little bit, and help you understand where your husband is coming from when he is think about all things sexual. I think a lot of the problems that arise in a couple’s sex life, start with a lack of communication/understanding on both sides, on how a man and woman view sex in totally different ways. Finding and understanding those differences are the first step to having and maintaining healthy, passionate, and incredibly fulfilling sex life. Make sense so far?

Ok, if you’re ready, here are 10 things (in no particular order) that husbands wish their wives knew about sex:

  1. Sex is not optional in his mind - To a husband, sex is about right up there on the list with eating and breathing. Can he survive without it? Yes, but it’s not fun at all. Sex is to the man, what talking/communication is to the woman. If you would ask several wives if it would be ok if their husband didn’t listen or communicate with them for weeks at a time – well, you get the idea. Frequent sex = happy, attentive, listening, cuddling, caring, talking husband.
  2. Husbands use sex to reconnect – Think of it this way: Let’s use the example of a cordless phone (bear with me here). Let’s say the husband is the cordless handset, and the wife is the base. The handset may hold a charge for a while off the base, maybe even for a couple of days. But sooner or later, the handset is going to have to be recharged/reconnected to the base to keep the battery charged, the programming updated, and the phone usable. When your husband comes home from a long day at work, and the first thing on his mind is sex, it’s not that he’s some sort of sex addict, it’s just him longing to “return to his base” and reconnect with his wife in a “I’ve had a long day, and I need assurance that no matter how hard life gets, you and I are ok” way.
  3. He doesn’t always want to be the one asking - Most husbands are fine with being the “sexual aggressor” most of the time, but if he is ALWAYS the one that is trying to start something, he starts to feel like you just “put up with him”, and don’t really care about sex. Every husband’s fantasy is to be sitting there on the couch, watching TV or whatever, and have his wife come over out of nowhere (obviously the kids aren’t around), straddle him, and start going at it. He wants to know that his wife DESIRES him sexually, not just PUTS UP WITH HIM sexually. This is a huge boost to his self-esteem and overall confidence.
  4. He thinks you’re GORGEOUS, and you can’t change that – It doesn’t matter how you feel about that left over baby fat, or how you cringe when you look in the mirror and see those stretch marks – your husband couldn’t care less! He thinks you’re the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth, and even when he tells you this, you dismiss it, and say stuff like “thanks hon, but I don’t think so”, or “well, you may feel that way, but nobody else does”. Please don’t do this! Your husband isn’t trying to “put you on” by telling your he thinks your body is amazing - he truly thinks it is! You have to learn to accept the compliment as him being honest, and say thank you, instead of trying to play it off. And that leads me to my next point…
  5. Sometimes he just wants to look at you NAKEDI can already see you rolling your eyes, but hear me out. If you husband is working hard to avert his eyes from every other sexual source besides his wife, not viewing any porn, not checking out the girl on the billboard, etc - he has a God-given need/desire/appetite to admire his wife’s naked body. I know this may seem strange to you, but it’s true. So, when you’re getting dressed in the morning, or ready for bed at night, don’t try to position yourself so he can’t see those parts of you. It’s ok! He’s not going to attack you and want to have sex (as long as you have a regular sex life), he just wants to appreciate your beauty for a little bit! Remember, you are his only sexual source! Wouldn’t you rather have him looking at you, then some billboard model? I’ve heard a lot of wives say that they are scared if they allow their husbands to see them nude, they will want to have sex right that minute. If it’s been a week since you’ve made love, this may be true, but if you have sex regularly, sometimes it’s nice for him to just be able to admire what he thinks is the most amazing body he has ever seen. So linger a little while when you bend over to pick up your socks off the floor, or let your robe “accidentally” fall open a little when he walks by. Not only will he love it, but you just might find yourself thinking about sex a little more during the day, leading to a greater chance of you desiring intimacy later that night.
  6. He loves it when you surprise him - By this I mean do something totally out of the ordinary, just for his benefit, and to see the look on his face. A few examples would be: Going out to dinner, and while you’re waiting for the waitress to seat you, lean over and whisper in his ear “You won’t have to take my panties off later when we get home, because I’m not wearing any”. Or after the kids go to bed and you’re going to curl up and watch a movie together, go into your room to “get your PJ’s on” and come back out with no top on, telling him you’re going to need his help keeping warm, because somebody told you it was “topless movie night”. Once you pick his jaw up off the floor, you might just find he isn’t paying much attention to the movie anymore. Another one would be to surprise him when he is taking a shower by jumping in the shower with him that “you’re having a hard time using your hands this morning, so he is going to have to help soap you up today.” I’ve heard several wives say that they love to see the look on their husband’s face when they surprise him like that. You’ll have your husband wondering what’s gotten into you!
  7. If you have to say “no” to sex, watch how you say it - I know it seems silly, but you have no idea how hard it is sometimes, for a man to get up the nerve to ask his wife if she wants to have sex. Usually he will try to “test the waters” first, by hinting at it, or maybe a little grab here and there, to see how you’ll respond. All this time there is a little argument going on in his head sounding something like this - “Just ask her! No, last time I asked her flat-out, she rolled her eyes and said something about that’s all I think about. Yeah, but this time it might work. Come on, I really want to make love. Can’t she see that? Maybe I’ll ask her later after dinner. Yeah, I’ll help with the kids and the dishes, and then ask later. (fast forward to 7pm) Ok, see, I got the dishes done, maybe I should hint at it now. Nah, I’ll wait until the kids go to bed. As soon as the kids go to bed, she’ll be able to think about me. She has to know it’s been a couple of days, I’m sure she’ll be ok with it. Right? (The kids go to bed) Ok, I think I’ll ask now! Wait, she looks like she’s got something going there on the computer, I’ll give her some time to get that done. I’ll just ask her when we go to bed, it will be more of a sure bet then anyway. (10pm rolls around, and they’re crawling into bed) Ok, I’m going to ask! “hey hon, do you want to make love?” This is how it goes in a guy’s head when he’s thinking about asking for sex. Why? Because guys have this strange tendency to make sexual rejection (even with a good reason), a personal rejection. Since the need for regular sex with his wife is so much a part of who he is, any rejection of that need, feels like a rejection of HIM to your husband. I know this is hard to understand, and wives don’t mean it that way, but this goes for almost every husband I have ever talked to. Now obviously there are times when you are going to have to say “not tonight hon”, but the key is HOW YOU SAY IT. Don’t do it in a nonchalant or dismissing way. Remember, he has been working up the nerve to ask you for the past several hours most times. When you deny him, say something like this – “Hon, I love to have sex with you, but I just can’t do it tonight because (fill in the blank)” Then if he’s really pent-up, you could offer to help him out in another way besides intercourse, or give him a realistic date to “get a rain check”, like tomorrow morning, or the next evening. That way he feels like you understand he has a legitimate need, he feels like you care, and he feels like you want to help him as soon as possible. You’re still saying “not tonight”, but he doesn’t feel like you don’t care, you’re just blowing him off, or that you think sex is not important. One other thing – sometimes if your husband has been thinking about you all day, and then for whatever reason, you have to turn him down that night, he may feel like he “can’t wait” until tomorrow (no fault of yours , sometimes it’s just hard to turn it off, after it’s on). If you roll over and offer him your help to get a quick release before you go to sleep, he will sleep much better, and you’ll be a hero in your husband’s eyes. You just showed him that you care, even if you can’t offer him sex right now. I can’t understate how much this will mean to him.
  8. He LOVES to see you turned onThere is nothing quite as sexy to a husband, as seeing his wife thoroughly turned on, and enjoying sex. In the same way, there’s nothing quite as discouraging to a husband, as you laying there with an almost bored look on your face, and with the attitude of “would you just get it over with please, so I can go to sleep”. To your husband, his ability to arouse, stimulate, tease, drive you crazy with desire, and help you climax, is a huge part of what he feels his “worth” is as a husband. If he feels like he is failing in bed, he is going to be discouraged in other areas of life too. In contrast, if he feels his wife thinks he’s amazing in the bedroom, he is going to be much more confident and have a “I can conquer the world” attitude. You can help this by showing and telling him (not in a faking it way) how much he turns you on, or makes you feel good, as you’re making love. Obviously he’s not going to do everything right, but make sure you let him know when he DOES hit the right spot, or do something you find particularly hot. Now I’ve heard wives ask the question “but what about the times that I’m not really into it, but am doing it because I love my husband, and know he needs it tonight?” Husbands understand you’re not going to have the same drive for sex that he has every time. He gets that. All he’s hoping for when this is the case, and you’re just giving him a “quickie” for release, is to not make him feel like he’s annoying for wanting it, or that he interrupting your day and you have so many other things you could be doing. He needs feel accepted by you, even when you’re not particularly into it this time. Smile and give him that “come here baby, I know you need it and I’m here for you” attitude. Whispering a little encouragement in his ear in the process is a huge bonus too. ;)
  9. He wants sex to be adventurous sometimes - I’ve gotten the question from husbands “how do I get my wife to be a little more adventurous with sex? (different locations, positions, etc)” Here’s the deal - there are 3 basic “kinds” of sex for a guy. There’s what we like to call the “normal” or “go to” sex (mostly in the bedroom, consisting of what we know always works, and satisfies both parties), there’s “Quickie sex” (a quick but passionate encounter that provides release when a longer session isn’t realistic at the time), and there’s “out of the ordinary” or “adventurous” sex (sex in a not normal location (outside, back of the mini van, etc), or learning a different technique or position that may be out of the “normal sexual menu” for the couple). This is usually a tough one for wives to understand, because I think for the most part I think a woman approaches sex with a “I like to stick to what works, and what is comfortable” , where a guy’s attitude may be more “I like normal most of the time, but sometimes I want to make it exciting and try new places”. While I’m not suggesting you go make love in the city park and get arrested, what I am saying is to try to understand where your husband is coming from. He sometimes sees sex as an adventure that you both are going on together. He wants you to be excited/thrilled to be on this adventure with him. For example, say you are taking a hike through the woods together somewhere, and when you stop for a break, he makes a move toward turning it sexual. Try and resist the urge to slap his hand away and say “honey! not here!” Even if you’re not comfortable with right here, right now, see if you can find another location down the trail where you would be. Remember, adventure! :) Even if it’s not exactly what you would have fantasized, you will have just made your husband’s day, and maybe even year. He’ll be talking to you about “that day we went hiking” for years to come!
  10. Be a student of your husband - I addressed this a little for the guys in my post “Sex: It’s not all about you”, but the same goes for the wives. Learn and observe what you husband likes in the bedroom (or out…lol). What color of panties/bra does he like best on you? What parts of your body drives him most wild? What turns him on the most? What turns him off? Does like it when you’re express yourself loudly when you have sex? What is his favorite position/location? A wife who is willing to learn the ins and outs of what her husband likes most when it comes to sex, will have one of the happiest husbands on earth.
  11. (I know I said 10, but I guess I can’t count) He loves it when you sexually flirt with him - Whether it’s the “for his eyes only” text you send him during the workday, suggesting what you’re going to do later, or the surprise little “grab” you give him when he’s helping you dry the dishes after dinner, flirting with your husband this way let’s him know you desire him, and are thinking about the next time you are going to be together. Little things like wearing cute panties, or a skirt (there’s something about a skirt that drives most husbands wild) with some sexy underwear underneath, go a long way in letting your husband know that you love being his only source of sexual attention, and get a kick out of keeping him guessing with what you’re going to come up with next. I know it’s easy to go into “mommy mode” and just wear what’s comfortable/practical, but when you remember, it drives your husband wild if you give him a little “eye candy” when possible.

Whew! You made it through! I know, I know, us guys are a little weird. :) We prefer to call it “different”, but hopefully you come away from reading this post with a new understanding of how your husband thinks about sex. Most of all, your husband is longing to be accepted by you in this area. He wants to know that even though you may not understand his seemingly constant desire for you, you accept it as part of who he is, and are not only willing, but love helping him in the way that only his amazing, beautiful wife can.

If you as a wife can make it a priority to do some of this stuff on even a semi-regular basis, your husband will be willing to conquer the world for you, and will be more than willing to be there for you emotionally, be strangely communicative, and you will feel closer to him than you would ever believe.

Sharing with Marital Oneness Mondays, Titus 2esdays, The Better Mom, Wifey Wednesday, and Women Living Well

159 Responses to “Ten Things Every Husband Wishes His Wife Knew About Sex, But Doesn’t Know Quite How To Tell Her”

  1. thehomeschoolmomblog August 5, 2012 at 9:32 pm #

    Great list! Thanks for sharing! Some good reminders!

    • missionhusband August 6, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

      Thanks thehomeschoolmomblog!

      • thehomeschoolmomblog August 7, 2012 at 7:45 am #

        You are more than welcome!

      • Forgiven 4 my mistakes November 30, 2013 at 11:24 am #

        I wanted you to know I thought your list was very deep and made the most sense. I read some of the stuff you said about husbands and couldn’t help but say “aw!” Like when you said, “To your husband you are the most beautiful being on this earth, no matter the amount of “baby fat”.” I know you are right, my husband I feel came out of a fairy tail, he is everything you described from tip 1 on down. I read this to be better for him, because he does ask for love making (he says sex is different than making love) often and on more that one occasion I do have to say no. It kills me, I know he does sometimes feel I don’t desire him, that is why I read this. It has great tips and I will try the surprising him idea. I know he will enjoy it. Thank you so much!!!!!!!

  2. taighbeag August 6, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    Ummmmm…..if I went out in public commando and whispered it to hubby, it would upset him rather than turn him on. He is very protective of my modesty. He also does not think I am the most gorgeous woman in the world. He thinks I am beautiful and he loves me greatly, but we both know there are handsomer people out there than us. That doesn’t demerit my beauty and it doesn’t mean he’s sexually attracted to them rather than me, it is just fact. I am more adventurous than he is. Jumping in the shower with him is rather utilitarian rather than sexy. I need sex to reconnect as much as he does. I feel deeply personally rejected when he says no. I have never refused him. What I am saying is, it isn’t a list for every husband, so ladies, don’t panic if he doesn’t fit the bill. Follow #10, then.

    • Mission:Husband August 6, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

      Thanks for the comment “taighbeag” – sorry some of the tips I gave didn’t fit your husband. Everybody has their own likes/dislikes, but I’m pretty sure if I did a survey of 100 husbands, and asked them if they would LIKE it or NOT like it if their wives surprised them with either jumping in the shower with them, or telling them they’re weren’t wearing any panties, 97 of them would say “yes” – that is if they could get the huge grin off their faces for long enough to talk.

      Just like it’s a pretty sure bet that women like chocolate. Do all women like it? No. But it’s a pretty safe bet that most of them do. Same goes with these 11 tips. Most guys would love the stuff listed, a few wouldn’t. They’re are just intended to give wives (who don’t think like men) an idea of how MOST men think.

      Thanks again for the comment!

      • taighbeag August 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

        Yes, I have come to realize that I am unlike most wives and my husband is unlike most husbands. For a while I started to panic reading blogs like this one because I related more to the husbands and we as a couple didn’t line up with the typical. I even started resenting it. One thing this is helping with is communicating with my husband. I showed him the article and got a better idea of his likes and dislikes. Yes, he said he would not like it if I left this house commando. Lol! So, what I am saying is these blogs are excellent resources, but if you or your husband are atypical, don’t panic. Use the articles as communication tools.

      • James Rynald April 8, 2013 at 12:39 pm #

        I think taighbeag just hit a major issue, perhaps primarily with religious people. That word “modesty” — but mis-applied!

        If an unmarried teen went out with no underwear, especially one in a religious family, she would be in big trouble if her dad found out. Why, because deciding not to wear underwear is often more sexually motivated than not.

        But not wearing underwear has nothing to do with modesty! Nobody can even tell you chose to go “commando” unless they touch or look very, very close. Sure a woman would need to be extra careful getting in or out of cars, sitting, etc…but most modest women do this anyway so nobody gets to peek at their undies.

        Same with the whole being naked thing. My wife will not walk around our own house topless, even on nice warm days, because it is “not modest” and she was “not raised that way”. Huh? Nobody is around to see except me!

        We all need to do our daughters (and their future husbands) a favor by helping them understand true modesty vs. being prude in marriage. Letting your boyfriend look down your shirt is not modest. Letting your husband look down it (and maybe even suprising him with no bra or a see-through) is sexy, perfectly right, and fully moral.

        Doing a strip-tease dance at a club is not modest. Do it privately for your husband does not make you a whore or any other bad word. It makes you a caring wife who will make your husband crazy for you!

        Finally, I think a tip #12 would be in order. Husbands should be meeting their wives needs too. If a woman follows these type of tips to meet their husbands sexual needs, he will have a much easier time meeting your non-sexual needs! Try denying his sexual needs for any length of time, and even the most dedicated man is going to find meeting your needs extrodinarly difficult.

      • Jake12 November 27, 2013 at 12:34 am #

        All i can say is that, while this might not be EVERY man’s way of thinking, for me it’s about as close to mind reading as I’ve ever come. Every one of these 10+ points is something I’d love for my wife to understand (she doesn’t). I would email her if i hadn’t overdone it with other email forwards in the past (I’ve made her feel pressured, which has been toxic for our already anemic sex life). anyway, great stuff… and for the womwn reading, know that most men (at least, this one) would love and welcome the same glimpse inside of a woman’s mind. I read and try to learn from same all the time.

      • Geri March 25, 2014 at 12:46 am #

        I love this article!! Thank you ! I’ve been married and with my husband for twenty years and we are still hot fir each other. I think one thing to add to your awesome article is the man should be dominant most of the time . We’re equal but in bed I like him to a man and he is ! Also a little wine helps on a stressful day.

    • SM September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

      Piggybacking on taighbeag…

      Everything on this list applies to many wives and not everything on this list applies to all men. There are many, many wives who need to “recharge”, who want to be flirted with, who enjoy seeing their husband naked, who are sexually creative and adventurous, who take sexual rejection personally (go figure), who prefer sex over talking, etc. Imagine that.

      The bottom line is spouses should be students and servants of each other.

      • Joyful3000 June 14, 2013 at 12:36 pm #

        Thank you taighbeag! What many Christian women don’t realize is that, for about 20-25% of marriages, the wife has a higher libido. It can be devastating to read lists such as these or sit in a ladies Bible study listening to vocal women complain about their husband’s sex drive and know that you’ve tried it all–many times!!!–and it’s just. not. working.

    • INTPish1 May 24, 2013 at 10:42 pm #

      I think you need to understand that this list includes examples to show how the advice in practice, not necessarily the only way that it can be done.

      Instead of going commando, maybe tell him, that you’re wearing the lingerie that he likes underneath your clothes, or something else to surprise him in a sexual manner.

      In an objective sense, you (or 99%) of people in the world aren’t in the running for being the worlds most gorgeous person. The idea that the writer was trying to convey is that wives need to stop feeling so self conscious about their bodies during sexual play. He knows what you look like and if he didn’t like it he wouldn’t be in bed with you. (so stop worrying about covering up that c-section scar every time you’re on top of him, he already knows it’s there, he certainly isn’t concerned about it at the moment, so you shouldn’t either)

      In short, don’t take the advice so literally, take the idea of it, and see what form you could use in your own relationship Communication is the most important thing, so, the ability to communicate with your spouse and open lines of dialogue about these awkward topics supersedes all of this advice. The advice just points you in the right direction to do it.

    • Some Guy (@anoynamouse) June 10, 2013 at 5:33 am #

      We are talking normal and average guys here…not the village minister…

      It’s a shame you feel the way you do. I know there are “hotter” women then my wife out there, but she turns me on 24/7 and is quite good looking…isn’t that enough you literalist?

    • Forgiven 4 my mistakes November 30, 2013 at 11:16 am #

      A husband doesn’t marry his wife if he thinks there are more “obviously handsomer” women out there. And the person who wrote these tips just put in suggestions, he didn’t say you HAVE to go commando, use your imagination for crimany sake. And lastly, your husband is allowed to say no just as much as you are. He might be tired or not in the mood, the fact that you take it personally and feel “rejected” just shows you have no trust of faith in your husband. I suggest you take a look at your priorities, instead of feeling hurt, try and feel understanding. Don’t feel rejected, feel instead grateful. If he felt he wasn’t going to fulfill your every need or desire that night and said no instead of leaving you unsatisfied, that is very considerate of him. And you, too, are allowed to say no. I sometimes feel like doing something else, I tell my husband no and explain why and he is understanding of it and thanks me for being honest. He tells me he doesn’t want me to feel forced. And if he tells me no and explains, I too understand. There has to be that level of understanding and communication and honesty in a relationship.

  3. One Flesh Marriage (@1FleshMarriage) August 6, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    Great list! I especially like the way you worded #2! I think alot of marital issues revolve around the differences in “recharging”. You have it exactly correct that men think of sexual intimacy as a way to recharge themselves and their marriage! There is no time I feel emotionally closer to my wife then “after”!

    Thanks for the great list!
    Brad @1FleshMarriage

    • Mission:Husband August 6, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

      THANKS Brad! It took me a while to write it, but I think I captured what “most” guys are thinking anyways. Hope it helps some wives understand us crazy husbands…lol!

  4. Jay Dee August 6, 2012 at 6:04 pm #

    I’m a guy, and I approve this list!

  5. James August 6, 2012 at 7:45 pm #

    I find myself laughing hysterically because it is all true!!!

    Well done!

    • missionhusband August 6, 2012 at 10:05 pm #

      Lol…I’m telling ya, all guys are the same! (ok, most guys…lol)

      Thanks!

  6. David August 6, 2012 at 8:52 pm #

    This is soooo good and soooo true!

  7. J (Anonymous) (@HotHolyHumorous) August 7, 2012 at 7:06 am #

    GREAT list! I agree with it all. This does describe the vast majority of husbands, although I certainly do hear from wives who have a higher desire than their husbands or whose husbands criticize their appearance.

    I had to laugh a bit with #6. I’m not sure what I can do anymore to surprise the hubs! If he read that description of ways to surprise your hubby, he might respond, “In my house, that’s Tuesday.” LOL. He still likes it, though. :)

    • missionhusband August 7, 2012 at 7:27 am #

      Thanks J! Lol about number 6! I guess I was aiming it at couples where it isn’t the “norm”. Thanks for reading, I was hoping to get your opinion on it!

  8. Ginger August 7, 2012 at 7:10 am #

    Thanks for the article. Interesting info. I appreciate taighbeag’s response. I agree with some of what she said. Have you considered having your wife write “Ten Things Every Wife Wishes Her Husband Knew About Sex, But Doesn’t Know Quite How To Tell Him”? Perhaps husbands would have more success in (and out) the bedroom if they were better at it. Trust me, I’ve had enough girl chats to know women have a lot to say about sex too. I think the biggest misconception is that women don’t want sex. I think most of us want sex almost as much as men do. Feeling tired or busy aren’t the only reasons we say no. How are we supposed to tell our husbands they’re doing something wrong when sex is so heavily tied to their self confidence? It’s important for BOTH people to be sexually fulfilled. It’s easier to have more sex with our husbands when we’re getting what we want too.

    • missionhusband August 7, 2012 at 7:46 am #

      Ginger,

      I have had quite a few comments lately from wives who are not satisfied in the bedroom, and are looking for ways to talk to their husbands about it without hurting him.

      While you have to be careful how you say it, MOST MEN will be more than happy to “practice their skills” if you say something like this to them-

      “hey hon, I’ve really been horny (yes, there are other ways to say it, but believe me, that word is much more likely to stimulate your husband to action than most others) lately, and I’ve got a few ideas I really want your help trying. In fact, I really want to take our sexual relationship to the next level. I want to learn what makes you crazy, and I want to show you what really does it for me. Can we spend some time working on this – starting tonight after the kids go to bed?”

      Now unless your husband is way out of the norm, he’s going to ask “where do I sign!?” after a comment like that from his wife.

      Also, something wives don’t understand about the man’s sexual drive, is that if he has an orgasm FIRST, and then is asked to “help you out”, he’s going to be about as interested as he would be if you asked him to put a new roof on the house on a 105 degree day. However, if the couple makes sure the wife has climaxed as many times as she desires (maybe saving one if they desire to have one together), BEFORE he has one, he’s going to be more than willing to help however you need, because he still has a DRIVE to orgasm himself. That’s why I always tell husbands to make sure if you’re wife desires an orgasm(s?), they let her “get hers” first, and then go ahead with his own.

      I wrote a whole post to husbands about making sure they are not being “selfish” in the bedroom called “Sex: It’s Not Just about You”(http://missionhusband.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/sex-its-not-just-about-you/), and while I wish that all husbands would make sure their wives are just as satisfied as they are after sex, I realize this is an issue in a lot of marriages, and will continue to write posts to address it.

      Thanks for the comment!

      • Ginger August 7, 2012 at 8:56 am #

        Thank you very much!

  9. Anonymous August 7, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    This is a great post, and includes nearly everything I would love to tell my wife about how I work as a man. The problem, however, is this – how do I get her to read this without making her feel like I dont appreciate our current sex life? It’s not that I dont appreciate it, it’s just that I really feel like she doesnt fully understand the importance of our sexual relationship. I could just email her a link to the post, but then I feel like a heel. Any suggestions, or should I just bite the bullet and send it to her?

    • missionhusband August 7, 2012 at 9:52 am #

      That’s a hard one. I would just email it to her, and say something like “hey hon, I found an article that really does a good job at explaining how us crazy guy’s minds work and think about sex. I thought it might help you figure out what the heck I’m thinking when I act these ways.” And leave it at that. Just don’t try and pressure her into doing any of them. If she wants to start doing any of them, that has to come from HER wanting to, not pressure from you. Make sense?

      Thanks for the comment!

      • Valerie August 7, 2012 at 9:54 am #

        That is a hard one, I think it’s important to make sure the line of communication between the two of you stays open. There are some things in there that doesn’t make sense to us wives and we need the chance to go, “really?, you really feel that way?” Don’t pressure her, but let her know that you are open to discussing the topic if she wants to. I’d love to have her as a reader :)

    • Lauren January 12, 2013 at 1:40 pm #

      Definately give this to her to read… I’ve been trying to think up ways to make
      My husband happy and this stuff never occurred to me!! I didn’t realise this was such a need for men but it makes total sense to me now.

      Mission husband guy I cannot thank you enough for writing this and your blogs.

    • LaBonita October 26, 2013 at 7:53 am #

      Say (f*****) and send it. I am a female and every since my husband and I met I told him straight out that if something bother me of him I will tell him. And I have. How can I explain this! I told him and will keep telling him “I love you” and I am letting you know that ( this, this, and this) is bothering me now is up to you if u want to do something about it or just let it go; but I told you and don’t blame me latter for whatever happens at the end. So I just send him # 7. Don’t be afraid of your wife it’s call communication, i am always asking my husband if he wants to say something to me like what is bothering him, if I have done something wrong or ect….and it works.

  10. Jhwolf3 August 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    Nailed it! I’m pretty sure you were in my head as you write this!

  11. starrlisah stewart August 7, 2012 at 10:40 pm #

    I LOVED EVERY BIT OF THIS POSTING…….VERY HELPFUL

  12. Veronica williams August 8, 2012 at 8:37 am #

    I like more women need to read not yet married yet!Lol

    • missionhusband August 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

      Thanks Veronica!

  13. Andy August 9, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

    I think it would be very helpful for every Bride and Groom to read/practice this advice. Thanks for sharing.–Andy

    • missionhusband August 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm #

      No problam Andy! Thanks for the comment!

      • William Cody Zies January 4, 2013 at 7:51 am #

        A Good Point was made by Andy!!

        As I just got married on Christmas Eve, I thought my wife would enjoy reading this.
        Great Advice for both men and women. Surprisingly pretty accurate regarding both as well.

        I’ve been living overseas almost half my life and find almost that I’m almost twice as old as most guys around town.

        I’d just like to emphasize a couple of important points here,

        First of all, honest Communication is most important in any lasting relationship. Be open and honest from the start.

        Equally important, yet unfortunately forgotten by 99% of men ,

        Remember Guys…….

        It’s Always Ladies First!!!

  14. Jarrod L. Flaming August 12, 2012 at 6:30 am #

    Just wondering how you were able to read my mind? I didn’t think I’d said all these things out loud to anyone, but I must have! :) LOL! Thank you! Now, as others have also said, to figure out how to politely get my wife to read the post. :)

  15. dawn August 14, 2012 at 1:36 am #

    how bout “Ten Things Every Wife Wishes Her Husband Knew About Sex, But Doesn’t Know Quite How To Tell Him”?

    • Ginger August 15, 2012 at 10:27 am #

      I second that!

  16. tracy royston September 20, 2012 at 10:00 am #

    Omg! I’m so glad I found this site..it has really made me realize how blessed I am to have a wonderful husband who is so in to me.it has also made me realize the difference between how men think so different from us women and how as wives we shoot our husbands down without realizing the damage we are causing them.I am guilty of alot like turning my husband down for sex just because I’m tired or not keeping our sex life spicy like I used to when we were dating.after reading this. I’m making a vow to never say no to my husband again..I can’t wait until he comes home from work today so I can try all these new things I have learned!

    • Valerie September 20, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

      Thanks for your comment Tracy. I’m glad you are learning things to keep your marriage strong.

    • LaBonita October 26, 2013 at 8:01 am #

      You go girl. And I just realize too how much my husband loves me and how many compliments my husband has said to me and in return I do say to you but I don’t fill that way. And from now on I will thank him for his love nd complements…..

  17. AJS November 30, 2012 at 4:47 am #

    Of all the articles and postings I’ve been reading lately, in an effort to resolve our only issue (I want sex all the time, she goes along), I thought this was the best, and you added the all important element of humor. No clinical definitions, just the way things are. When I printed this out for my wife to read, I said, “This is exactly what goes on in my head. Now you know.” In fact, I told her it was the last article I would ask her to read because its so complete and succinct.

    Of course not all things apply, but few things in life are one size fits all. As I always tell my wife, we love someone despite some things, and because of most. Her sexual peccadilloes are one thing I’ve had to constantly work on. The strange thing with her, is that since changing a medication that’s she’d been on for years, she’s able to have multiple orgasms for for the first time in 22 years. At 50. But yet, she is reluctant. So we’ve come to this conclusion; like working out always feels good afterwards, the hard part is putting on your shoes to get started. So we’ve found joking about, ‘putting the shoes on’ and having times where sex is ‘most likely’, works for us. A little tip for the readers; we have found that on a Friday night early, when both our teens are out, having some red wine (an aphro for my wife) and cheese, talking and then having sex before dinner changes a lot. The wine is more effective, your stomach is not full, she’s not tired, and there are no kids who might ‘hear’. I think the fact also that your blood is not busy digesting food, allows more to flow to your nether regions. The best sex we’ve had in 22 years has been the times we’ve done this lately.Try it, you’ll like it!

  18. Private January 8, 2013 at 10:11 am #

    My husband shared this information with me and I found it to be quite interesting and informative, something I needed to read. We have been married for 36 years and the flame has not gone out of our marriage, it is just on a low setting-lol
    This article was right on time because my husband and I are getting ready to go on vacation to Australia & New Zealand so I believe we are going to try out most of the 10 tips!
    Will keep u guys posted: The Grants

    • Valerie January 9, 2013 at 10:08 am #

      Thanks so much for the encouragement! Have a great vacation and may God get all the glory!

  19. Mia Fungafat January 14, 2013 at 6:06 am #

    I have been married for almost nine years. My husband sees me naked morning and night and would simply look away and dont even notice me.I have always been the one to ask for sex he rarely does. I am begining to conclude that he does loveme. We have a platonic relationship and he is comfortable with it. i am 36 he is 42.

  20. gotta have it January 14, 2013 at 8:41 pm #

    Did you like place a hidden camera in my bedroom for the last 10 years? This is me you’re talking about. I’m always the one asking, she is not adventurous, we always have obligatory sex, she never surprises or flirts, always in mommy mode, dont know the 1st thing about wearing sexy underwear and my compliments about her body are useless. I’m going to cheat someday. That’s a promise.

    • Casapollo July 28, 2013 at 5:30 am #

      “Going to cheat one day”…..if you’ve given up to that point already, you are just as much of the problem as she is friend. I know what feeling trapped feels like. Many of us ‘good Christian husbands’ know. But that is still no justification for adultery. It is justification for a wake up call for you both. Be the man and talk to your wife openly and honestly but considerately and lovingly first.

      • Geri March 25, 2014 at 9:30 am #

        True

  21. VLH February 4, 2013 at 2:30 pm #

    So I am assuming you are all younger men and women, as this is a crock for an older woman!

  22. Anonymous February 8, 2013 at 1:47 am #

    Husbands love the Wife getting into some sexy nightie like a vintage sexy babydoll with a peignoir, so the Wife can tease him and turn him on,does that sound sexy,I think it does.

  23. rika_mom February 10, 2013 at 11:34 am #

    i think am going to follow this step. as i reject my husband now a days after having two kids. i think in different way, i thought that he will get tired and dont want sex after his office as he work at night. now i came to know, why he scolded me if i sleep late. coz he wanted to recharge at night before he sleep. a casual massage turn into sex. i mean intimacy, to reconnect with me. thank you for your article. i think it will lessen our misunderstanding and improve our marriage.

  24. Elaine February 17, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

    “Frequent sex = happy, attentive, listening, cuddling, caring, talking husband.” You’ve got to be kidding!!!! Frequent sex = him thinking everything is all right with her and the marriage, all the time and he has to consider nothing about her needs ( in the bedroom or out).

    • Casapollo July 28, 2013 at 5:33 am #

      Elaine – if that is how you feel, you’ve got some communicating to do. It’s always a two way street. Selfishness must be rooted out from both ends simultaneously.

  25. Vlady February 21, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    Wow! I’m so surprise about what you said here. I’m a male and I feel you are speaking for me I feel the same exact way. Thank you so much, I have try to tell my wife everything you said. But now I will just print it and have her read it. Why? Because she will research everything else BUT sex related education and that’s where I feel she does not care. I wish that you would give more tips on what wife should do, on seducing the husband because like my wife she has no clue how to do that and we have been married for 13 yes. I like what you said” waiting on a restaurant to be seated an she whispering at me that she has no panties”. Wow! Also hiw she should seduce me at home and what kind of clothing she should wear! Yes I have bought her lingerie very expensive ones but she would not wear them. I hope this article open up her eyes. Thank you.

  26. REZA March 1, 2013 at 2:50 am #

    Faaaaantaaaaastiiiiiiic I love it.

  27. Katilove March 5, 2013 at 9:54 am #

    Is there an article like this but reversed? I’d love to show my man.

    • mandydon March 24, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

      Katilove, that is my thoughts exactly ! I BEG my husband for sex and he hardly ever wants it. He is 58 and I’m 27 BUT he’s never had any “problems” if ya know what I mean. I try to touch him and he rolls his eyes and huffs like “here we go again ” he thinks I’m a sex addict but seriously I’d be happy with just once a week, more would be fantastic but once we be good ! I feel like a guy all the time because I’m always saying sexual things to him or telling him how much I want him or grabbing his ass or trying to rub on him , but its always the same attitude like sex is a chore for him. This all started about a year ago. Before that it was at least once a week if not more and he actually would initiate it , now its always me initiating never him , and most times I get turned down until he feels like it and then it just seems planned out and not spontaneous at all but by then I’m just happy to be getting any at all. I just don’t get it, I feel like there must be something wrong with me or he’d want me.

    • Wendy November 15, 2013 at 6:14 am #

      I agree Katilove. It’s the reverse in our house and it’s frustrating to say the least. I have given up and patiently wait for my husband to want it. I won’t nag him about it, it’s not worth it. But this article could be for men in regards to their wife.

  28. revaj March 13, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

    I”m a guy. I tried talking about what I wanted, things got better for a bit then went back to normal. A few weeks later I wrote a letter spelling out what I wanted, mostly sex related stuff since it was lacking, again things got better for a few days then it reversed to what it was before. Throughout the years, 14, I feel I tried to communicate my feelings about the subject but nothing, changed. Yesterday again I gave her another chance. We both wrote what we want from each other, my was the same old sex related stuff, her was mostly my lack of appreciation for house’s chores. This time I’m totally convinced that this situation will not change ever. I’m stuck in a relationship, a marriage of 14 years, with a beautiful child, the love of my life. I don’t see me walking out on them. I couldn’t live away from my child, but I feel at the same time I’m giving up on my happiness. I’m totally convinced that my wife can’t make me happy. I see in her behavior that she doesn’t care enough to even make an effort. Yesterday she wrote me that she felt I only want her for sex. I felt horrible because after 14 years she still don’t know my heart, or me as a man. I makes me really sad to know that, but I the same time I needed to know that, because I can start adjusting to the fact that I’m about to give up on my happiness and sex all together so I can stay with them and my child grows up seeing mom and dad. I know this have nothing to do with the 10 recommendation from above, I just needed a place to vent my feelings.

    • Scrooge December 12, 2013 at 5:03 am #

      Revaj, don’t give up on your happiness or your marriage. Let your wife read this post.. As a wife, who was once normally very into sexuality, I lost it somewhere along the way. First I lost confidence in my own sexuality then I started to see my husband as only wanting me for sex and not appreciating me for the time and money and love I put into the home. It is starting to drive a wedge between us and I have feared he might cheat so then I get even more negative. I read this post today and it clicked! I can’t wait til he gets home.. I might pull some heels and that old black wig out the closet to surprise him! Don’t give up, and don’t give in! Let her read this post in a loving way!

    • Christina February 28, 2014 at 8:35 am #

      revaj, to be all honest all I can read is your comments is that it’s all about you. no one can make you happy, that’s up to you. what if you stopped concentrating so hard on what you want and focused your attention on your wife and how you can make her feel cared for and loved? show her that you love her no matter what. because that is what she needs, we all need to be loved no matter how we *perform*. if she knew you loved her unconditionally I think you would see things change a LOT. I am willing to bet that if you asked her, she would tell you that she feels starved for affection. I can guarantee though, if you make an effort towards her and all the time have getting your needs met as the goal, she will see through it. True love is dying to self and doing what is best for your beloved.

  29. Lucia March 26, 2013 at 3:30 am #

    Hello!

    Very interesting… But how about when is the other way around? I am alwys initiation everything, sending flirty messages, I am a size 8 and 33 years old , have a pretty face and look after myself, but even though we do it often, it is usually done in minutes and he always does the same boring stuff! I love experimenting and having adventurous sex… He likes the boring normal sex and I feel very frustrated. I bought a police outfit, handcuffs, etc for our honey moon almost a year ago… Did we use them? Never! I am sick and tired of him being selfish and boring. Outside of bed he is a good husband even though we have had some problems, but we are working in them. I am pregnant now but thats not an issue and I look good still and have a nice bump, no stretch marks and he says he loves my body now and before and finds me sexy. He is just boring at times and I thrive and miss exciting sex. But he won’t compromise in anything or try anything. I have to fantasise and use my vibrator almost every day . And I never ever say no to him. But lately I am beginning to have enough of this as I believe I’m too nice (and good looking) to be begging for sex. He is also putting weight on and I don’t like fat. I know I sound superficial and yes I am but I am not an ugly fat woman. I am also not perfect but I Am A good wife, have his house clean, cook for him, yet look pretty and attractive not mumsy! I think we just have different libidos and there are women out there who are lucky to have men constantly wanting it and there are men out there with women like me but they are too busy with other thoughts that can’t be bothered to give us what we need. It works both ways :-(

    • Rational Gal February 27, 2014 at 10:10 am #

      Maybe he has trouble with premature ejaculation… your ideas might be too much for him to handle (too exciting)…

  30. Ciera March 28, 2013 at 5:09 pm #

    I couldn’t stop laughing while reading this….I love your humor! My husband will definitely agree with those points…can’t wait to use this with my hubby!

  31. John April 7, 2013 at 1:07 pm #

    my wife and i have these issues most all of them she just rolls her eye as if to say im just some sexaholic sorry for spelling

  32. Jemitaiwo April 10, 2013 at 12:08 am #

    wow! My spouse gonna read tis. Thanks.

  33. kjb April 12, 2013 at 6:20 pm #

    ok well I do agree with the list and I have practiced most of them at least once. My problem is if I am his only sexual source, then why after 3 1/2 years that I still feel like I’m constantly in competition with almost every other girl. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like I’m very tolerant most of the time – mostly bc I’m used to it and expecting it. However, both me and my sister feel uncomfortable at times and I have to periodically remind him of how disrespectful it is to stare and how it makes me feel unappreciated. Just last night I laid on the bed topless in a miniskirt and he didn’t even really say anything when he walked in the room. I had to ask what he thought. He said he thought my skirt was cute and he liked it. If it was anybody else, he’d be all over it drooling and lusting. Idk maybe it;s just me, but what does it take to be the only one he looks at with that look or what would it take for me to have his full attention? I just don’t get it.

  34. Behzad May 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

    I’m a male and i want to say that all of the listed items are true about me. If my wife behaves this way, i would be the happiest man in the world.

  35. Harold May 26, 2013 at 5:07 am #

    This list is absolutely true for me. I have often felt bad because of my sex drive and my wife seemingly lack of. At this point I am not sure what to do. This is one of the reasons why I don’t recommend marriage to people. Problems like this are built into a marriage. Sometimes being “not married” allows one to have more control over at least this aspect of life.

  36. lucero May 29, 2013 at 11:47 pm #

    Thankyou

  37. Donna June 7, 2013 at 4:20 pm #

    My husband read this he said the main.one he liked was 3, 4, 5, 8, and 11.

  38. Jody June 9, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    Awesome

  39. Casapollo July 28, 2013 at 5:40 am #

    Several guys have asked how to breech this subject with their wives. I too am so e what at a loss there. Even so, I have engaged her in it. I thought I would share what I sent her and maybe so done could take a few things from it and use it as they see fit. This is what I wrote her:

    “I know you hate it when I send you something to read. I know you must think I’m just trying to tell you what to do and I know how that goes over. So you should know that it frightens me on some level and I fear this will be fruitless and you’ll likely never read it or do so with a dismissive attitude. I hope not though. It is not meant to be critical of you in any way. I ran across this blog post this morning and after reading it I thought “there is no better way I could put into words how I feel about sex than how this guy explains it.” Some of these thoughts I know I have shared with you but many of them I don’t think I have and have struggled to put it into words before. This guy nails it 100%. There is nothing here that I don’t agree with and feel on a regular basis. Many of these points you and I are spot-on with. Others I wish you and I were more in tune. I hope you can read this and truly understand it as only me continuing to try to communicate more adeptly with you to improve our overall relationship. That is continuing to improve and I appreciate all you do to make it so. I want us to grow old happily together. I don’t know what else to say besides please don’t dismiss this as just me trying to get more sex from you. That’s not why I’m sending it to you.
    You may read this and think to yourself “I already knew all of that.” That’s ok, I would still appreciate if we discussed it later and you can tell me then you already knew all those things.
    I also know there is a similar post from the woman’s perspective and I intend to read that one. I would encourage you to do the same and we can compare notes.

    I love you more than I am able to express. I only hope you know that.”

    I guess we’ll see how that goes huh?

  40. mrs princewill August 10, 2013 at 3:18 pm #

    like your work, am a mother of 2.the first was just 9 month when I became pregnant again,now his 7 month old,I had implano inserted 5 days ago. It been fun. yesterday while he was at work I SMS him about how I just finished taking my bath, my naked body and how I was bending low to pickup my transparent night wear. He rushed back home, short down his laptop without saving his work, though the kids did not sleep till 11pm.though we still had sex after they slept.

  41. summerbird August 18, 2013 at 2:06 am #

    What if it doesn’t work…you do all these things for him, looking after his needs, but then don’t get any of the emotional support so desperately needed? Where is the articles to teach him now to love me? and where is the man that actually cares enough to read such articles so that he can fill my love tank enough so that i can give unconditionally? Completely and utterly unfair that woman have to give and give to men, without any sort of garuntee that they will give back

    • Valerie August 19, 2013 at 8:00 am #

      Summerbird,
      I agree that sometimes it is completely and utterly unfair that we have to give and give to men, without any sort of guarantee they will give back, but that is only when we are looking at it through our eyes. See, God has a plan for us each to serve our spouse and put their needs above our own and find our fulfillment in Him not our spouse. That’s hard! It takes a lot of work and attitude adjustments daily to make sure my attitude is right, that I am serving my husband because I love him, not because I want something back. I love to give to my husband and have learned doing it with no strings attached has changed how I view our whole marriage and my “responsibility” of always giving. There is no guarantee my husband will give back to me, but if I selflessly give to him each day, with nothing expected and pray for his heart to change, it will in time.

  42. Jessica August 19, 2013 at 3:51 am #

    I do all of these things DAILY (constantly touching him, sexually flirting with him, giving him that I want you now look, I will do it with him ANYWHERE ANY TIME OF DAY) just thinking of my husband/looking at my husband turns me on immediately ! Erotic Intense passionate love making SEX with him is always on my mind & dreams …. So I’m guessing my husband doesn’t have to wish for all of this because I’ve been doing it DAILY FOR 11 1/2 YEARS and it comes naturally

    • Valerie August 19, 2013 at 8:01 am #

      :)

    • Geri March 25, 2014 at 12:54 am #

      I find if interesting that I have better sex when I’m chunkier about twenty

  43. Ashley September 3, 2013 at 9:40 am #

    This is a great list but what happens when the roles are reversed? My husband hardly ever wants sex

  44. MikesWife September 5, 2013 at 12:16 pm #

    Love this!! I’m looking at things completely differently now and applying them to my relationship with my husband!! Thank you so much for sharing.

  45. Jen September 7, 2013 at 1:12 am #

    What if your husband seems not to have any interest for almost 4 months?

  46. jeremy September 18, 2013 at 10:04 am #

    Read in private…..great article. seriously,read in private.

  47. Hattie September 29, 2013 at 10:47 pm #

    What an awesome post. I know there are women out there hurting, as their men might not be there where they love them to be intimately. I for this, it helps me understand my hubby even more. Fragile beings , just lie us. You would think human lol. Pleasing God by pleasing your hubby.

  48. Tiffany October 9, 2013 at 6:59 am #

    What if you’re the one who wants sex the most and try everything to get your husband to want you but nothing seems to work? My husband and I might have sex twice a month if that. He never comes on to me and when I try to get him to talk to me about things he likes or wants he never will. Help please. I just want him to want me and he doesn’t.

    • Wendy November 15, 2013 at 6:06 am #

      Tiffany I have the same problem with my husband. When and if you get any answers let me know. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

      • Kim December 31, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

        Im in tbe same boat as both of you are. My husband stopped wanting me as soon as we signed the marriage license. Even on our honeymoon he wouldn’t make love to me. In the past 3 years we have made love 4 times. At this point I’d have sex with him just to feel the closeness and to feel wanted. Dont get me wrong I would love it if he would want to satisfy me but he just doesn’t want to so that is why I said I would settle for just having n feeling tje closeness. I have no clue wwhatto do. I’m at a loss.

    • Rossy March 8, 2014 at 11:21 am #

      I’m with you Tiffany… I know I am an attractive woman, even still, after a 30 year Godly marriage and homeschooling 4 sons, who are all happily married and serving The Lord. I try to keep my weight under check, keep myself nice for him and I look after him. At last we are empty nesters! I walk around half/wholly naked, wearing sexy underwear and I would love to spice up our sex life! Trouble is, he doesn’t seem interested… We have talked about my needs, but he doesn’t talk about his. He rarely makes the first move, I and when I initiate intimacy, he is not interested. We do have a fun and playful everyday relationship, but when it comes to the bedroom… Well, I am now becoming very frustrated, feeling unloved and wanting…
      I lay awake next to him at night and either quietly cry myself to sleep or leave to sleep in the guest room because I want him so much!
      I am now at my wits end and need to understand what is going on here, as I cannot take it any more.
      Now I have nowhere else to turn. I’m scared now as to what I might do next. What do I do!

  49. Angel October 13, 2013 at 7:15 am #

    I do every single thing you have listed and MORE! I just do not understand why my husband still looks at porn. I have also suggested watching it together while having sex thinking that would help. I enjoy sex very much. I’m pretty much open to anything while having sex with my husband. I take care of myself. I think I’m attractive. What am I doing wrong? I understand being curious.. But every other day looking at porn isn’t right. Especially if your wife doesn’t complain about sex and wants you. I initiate sex all the time and I’m turned down with his excuse that he is tired. He says it isn’t me, it’s that he is truly tired. So I started going for morning sex and that was no. So it’s pretty much up to him when it’s okay to have sex. He has made comments during sex that “I’m too much”. I asked what he meant by that.. he says that it’s hard for him to last for a long time because he is so excited and cannot hold back. So he stops and takes a second and then continues. Am I doing something wrong? I want to please him.. Maybe I’m doing too much? Should I just leave him alone? Heck, maybe he is intimated by me and feels insecure? It’s very hurtful being rejected when you want to have sex with the man you love. I just don’t get it!

    • JayAlan February 20, 2014 at 2:05 pm #

      Angel:

      your husband may need to go and see a doctor. There are several medical conditions that I can think of that could cause what he is going through.

      As for the Porn, that is a no no, it is very addictive and don’t bring it into the bedroom. If he is viewing it a lot and pleasuring himself a lot then he could cause an erectile dysfunction just by doing that too much. Porn in small doses will help with arousal, but too much and it will negatively affect arousal. It is bad bad bad! And I am not saying this to be uptight and conservative, It is a fact that too much of a good thing is bad.

    • Rational Gal February 27, 2014 at 10:08 am #

      Porm will eventually lead him to being bored with you. Speak up now!!! Educate yourself on how porn addiction will destroy your sex life!!!

    • Ryan March 14, 2014 at 6:27 am #

      As a porn addict myself, I can relate to your husband. Not being able to last and that tired feeling come from masturbating too much. I am on the road to recovery and these things are getting lots better for me. The first step is to not be okay with him looking at porn (and telling him), likewise, he needs to accept it’s not okay.

  50. Denise October 17, 2013 at 9:36 pm #

    I loved the post ! Thank you for the tips, coming from a man is great. To know what other Husbands are thinking. I am a newlywed and I’m always thinking of ideas to spice things up with my husband. We just had a baby and were both young I’m 21 and my hubby is 24. I always want sex with my husband , but sometimes he tells me that he just wants to relax. Our relationship doesn’t consist of sex only. I thought that’s what men like sex ? So what’s the problem? Should we have sex everyday or every other day to keep things spiced up? I am little confused.

  51. Fred Buettner October 23, 2013 at 10:14 am #

    WOW, I cant believe how dead on this is. Came right out of my head. This is what I’ve been telling, well at least trying (when she’ll listen) to tell my girlfriend of 13 years. I don’t think she understands how I (men) value sex and this describes it perfectly. If all women understood this, there would be a significant lower divorce rate. I desire my girlfriend more then anything, and yet I get rejected all the time. When she wants something from me, I’m made to feel like if I don’t do it i’ll be punished with NO SEX and not just tonight usually the next month or two. I’ve been told when I come to her desiring the intimate connection with her, that it’s not her problem and I need to deal with my problems my own. If that’s not just about saying – go out and have an affair. But she’s also told me looking at porn or going out to a club and looking at another girl is cheating on her. How can a man deal with a sexual need, by doing nothing that involves anything sexual or be told he’s cheating? I’m coming to her and she’s saying go deal with it somewhere else???? I’ve resisted so far, but it’s taking a major toll on me. Maybe now that she has some problems and needs me to take care of them, I can just sit back and say there not my problems – deal with them yourself or just wait them out because I need to handle my own needs first and if you have anyone come to help you – that’s cheating.

    Love how perfect this describes me. Well writing and hopefully she’ll read this.

    • Rational Gal February 27, 2014 at 10:07 am #

      The media tells us women lies, like ALL the time, about mens’ sexuality… I think men are (generally) less expressive and also can’t ready our minds or sort through the subtle ways the media shoves these ideas into our brains.

  52. nicoke October 25, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    This was very very helpful. Broken down and very informative.

  53. LaBonita October 26, 2013 at 7:29 am #

    I love everything u said, and it’s true but in this case I am #7. For some reason my husband has control over sex and am the one that wonders all this things and when would it be the right time to ask and weirdest part is that I do ask. ” honey are we going to make love tonight” and when I hear the “no” part. it breaks my heart and I go to bed.

  54. skasa1973 October 27, 2013 at 6:02 pm #

    I found this interesting. My husband found this ans sent me the link as a way to tell me how he feels in the bedroom. I have to say that if the woman is always worried about her husbands wishes in bed then when is he worrying about hers. I don’t agree that a husband should have to have sex to be attentive or be loving toward his wife.

    Maybe I’ve read this wrong but this seems like a modern day what wives should do for their husbands.

    Is there one written by your wife or yourself about how they should act in the bedroom?

  55. Tebogo November 2, 2013 at 2:39 pm #

    Thank you for the wonderful advice I’m going to try all steps starting tomorrow, I really want my husband to feel wanted sexually. There’s times he’d asked me if I ever find him sexually attractive and my answer is always ” ofcause baby” but I can tell he doesn’t believe me, but with the advise I got from you I’m going to make him the most happiest Husband on the Planet. Thank you and Thank you

  56. Wendy November 15, 2013 at 6:03 am #

    Great article. I think I’ll see if my husband will read it. All I can say is enjoy sex while you can. My husband is close to 50 and isn’t interested anymore and I miss it. Yes he’s gone to the doctor but his doctor told him it happens and not to worry about it, grr. I’m not pleased with his doctor but my husband won’t get a second opinion and he’s not concerned. On the other hand I am frustrated beyond belief and hoping some day soon we can reconnect! Thanks for sharing.

  57. get your ex back November 16, 2013 at 4:08 am #

    Hello there I am so thrilled I found your web site, I really found you
    by error, while I was searching on Yahoo for something else, Nonetheless I am here
    now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a fantastic post and a
    all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and
    also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read
    a lot more, Please do keep up the fantastic job.

  58. tulip41613 November 19, 2013 at 9:58 am #

    This has definitely given me a new perspective on how my hubby acts. The little things that he is always doing, like pinching my rear, kissing my neck or telling me I look really cute when I wear a black skirt to work, I usually just brush off… Yes, I think they are nice gestures and I love it when he does them but I never really understood why he does them!
    My hubby also initiates sex a lot… I see why some days, if I don’t initiate it, why we just don’t have it… Not that I don’t want to. I just don’t think to start it or sometimes don’t know how to go about doing it!
    This has given me a totally different outlook on things and I now know what I am “not doing” that makes him act the way he does… I will surely have a different approach to my hubby now!

  59. Scrooge December 12, 2013 at 4:36 am #

    Thank you so much for sharing. I have been starting to feel like all my husband cares about is himself. You’re post describes him to a tee ! Now I can see what I thought as him thinking of himself, is him really thinking about me. Follow up post should be on how to find confidence in yourself sexually again!

  60. Robyn December 19, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    My husband sent this to me to read and I did, but things talked about here are not really our problem. I have done different things that are out of the ordinary, our problem is he won’t get off his cell phone. So I’ve given up on trying new things. I’ve even stood in the living room doorway nude, he’ll look up from his phone smile and go right back to his phone for a few hours.

  61. Kim January 1, 2014 at 10:13 am #

    I read your whole post 2 times. Yet I have just the opposite problem. Me and my husband have been with each other for almost 6 years and when we first got together he couldn’t keep his hands or eyes off of me. 3 years ago that changed. Now I can’t get him to touch me if I undressed right in front of him and begged him to have his way with me. We might have sex 1 time a month if I’m lucky. I am always the one asking him to make love to me and he is always the one to turn me down or like the other day I brought it up and he said, I’m sorry but its not like I have sex on t be brain every minute of the day and night. I didn’t say anything and he and I jave not mentioned it or spoke about it sence. If y lou have any advise I would lovw to hear it. What am I doing or not doing right?. I want my husband to want me like he use to and even more but I just have no idea of what to say or do at this point. Thank you.

  62. mike January 3, 2014 at 9:33 am #

    As a 38 year old husband who works part time and takes care of all 3 of our kids (6, 4 and 2)….this list is awesome and absolutely true! Could I have sex with my wife 6 times a week….sure, I’d love to. Do I expect that out of her….of course not. We have three kids, we have tiring schedules….times are tough and stressful. I have to say though, I’m a bit concerned that we are down to as little as 1 to 3 times a month IF we are lucky. And yes….it’s ALWAYS me asking, which I’m starting to have some concern about. I’ve brought this topic up on occasion….and the only reply I get is a reminder of what I already know….(we have 3 kids, times are tough, she’s tired).

  63. can you get love back in a relationship January 7, 2014 at 3:03 pm #

    I really like what you guys are up too. Such clever work and coverage!
    Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve added you guys to blogroll.

  64. Mira January 10, 2014 at 8:50 am #

    Very nice article, well done! However… it’s like I’m reading about myself :/ In the place of the husband that is. In our relationship it’s the other way around. I’m the one always coming on to him, wearing underwear around the house and initiating sex in public places or shamelessly flirting with him. It’s become a bit of a problem for me, since, even though he loves me and thinks I’m the prettiest woman in his world, he doesn’t need as much sex as I do. So every time he lets me down in that matter, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. But what can I do, if he is amazing and hot and the sex is so unbelievable I want it all the time.

  65. balvin kaur January 18, 2014 at 9:05 pm #

    Nice

  66. Giving up February 3, 2014 at 6:07 am #

    I’m 28 and my husband is 34. I’m always interested in sex, and it seems like such a chore for him. I feel like I just irritate him most of the time. If I touch him he rolls his eyes. If I wear lingerie he doesn’t notice. I’ve talked to him several times, and I can’t seem to get him to open up. I’ve told him to tell me what he wants/needs me to do. All he tells me is he’s tired when he comes home from work, and he doesn’t know what turns him on. He is never interested in me. If I do manage to get him turned on… it’s the same old routine. He seems more like the “wife” and I feel like I’m more like the “husband” when it comes to sex. We’ve been married almost 6 years. It’s been like this for about 3 years now. I’m tired of it, tired of talking, tired of getting no results, tired of being tuned down, and I’m about to give up. He usually communicates well, but not with this. Any suggestions.

  67. Me February 7, 2014 at 2:12 am #

    ;)

  68. Dave Joyner February 10, 2014 at 6:33 pm #

    Absolutely it’s almost as if your in my head that’s exactly how I feel with my wife wow!!

  69. k_confused February 10, 2014 at 9:20 pm #

    While this post is great for those who are wanting to know this. I feel like this post is not addressing the main things that doesn’t get mention outside the bedroom and that is – why are some husbands so hard to get into the bedroom? – How do their wife address it with them without making the marriage worst? There has been conversations but as a wife I feel rejected and disappointed when my husband doesn’t want to be with me sexually. I feel like he does everything to avoid this moment and you may choose to say it is my fault but at the end of the day I have tried so many different things etc. date night, when he has days off, sexy new outfit, compliment him, so many hints. Sometimes when we are making out he is like ‘tuned out?’ He say it is not me and I am not doing anything wrong but if that the case why is this becoming such a problem and making him get angry lately when we try to talk about this topic. We can talk about anything else and we are fine.

  70. JayAlan February 20, 2014 at 1:59 pm #

    I was reading through most of these posts, and especially starting with the reply by.Taighbeag and I must say that these are pretty much the responses I would expect. First off These 10 things are guide lines and meant to get you to think about sex with your husband because it is important. It is so important that I have been close to separation several times with my wive over the fact that she is just not interested in it at all. Listen if you want to stay married to your spouse do not ignore these because it is as important to your husband as communication is to you. This article is designed to get you thinking and being creative, to pull one thing out of the article and focus on that alone shows that you may need to think very seriously about this.

    I also see that many affairs and broken marriages could have been avoided if more attention were paid to these 10 things. Look ladies, your husband is not going to beg for sex and if you reject him too many times he will shut down with you and likely move on to someone else.

    If you have a higher sex than your husband then he needs to have his testosterone checked or you need to hire a private investigator. It is very very rare that a woman has a higher drive that a man because of testosterone (wonder drug) Low testosterone is a serious medical condition.

  71. Lisa February 24, 2014 at 4:01 pm #

    Either I am actually a man or all of these things are not only male thinking patterns. Every single one of those sounds like me and I am a woman.

  72. jessica February 24, 2014 at 4:23 pm #

    I think this list could easily be reversed for husbands to know about their wives just because women do have a desire for sex sometimes higher then their husbands.

  73. Tristan February 24, 2014 at 10:57 pm #

    I have to say cheers on this write up
    I honestly feel most of the time my wife just singles me out and thinks I’m the only one that feels this way even when ninety to explain it’s how us men are wired.
    I emailed this to her :)

  74. Hankel February 25, 2014 at 10:14 am #

    My husband got laid last night thanks to this list ;)

  75. Judy Griffin February 25, 2014 at 8:51 pm #

    Spot on. I have seen examples of this many ties in my marriage. I might have thought you discussed this with him personally for some entries on the list. I know how much my husband loves it when I initiate and engage him in a sensual night of pleasure. It does change everything and makes us more connected in every way. Thank you!

  76. J February 26, 2014 at 10:57 am #

    I, for one, have heard numbers 1 – 11 many times from my husband…and I am guilty of everything you have said that a wife does to discourage or avoid sex. I love my husband dearly. I don’t know why after 15 years I just would rather go to bed in my flannels. Sex has been our major point of contention for the past 13 years. Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. Reading this made me encouraged and discouraged. Encouraged because I am obviously not the only one who is going through it, but discouraged because my husband doesn’t deserve the treatment that I put him through. I DO hurry to change into my pjs so he won’t get a glimpse. I DO NOT wear the sexy underwear he bought me for fear that will be a green light. I HAVE on vacation been very daring and adventurous, but that is few and far between the regular nights of nothingness. Thank you for sharing and waking me up.

  77. Deborah C. February 26, 2014 at 12:13 pm #

    This was a great post! Thank you so much for the insight!

  78. Shekinah February 26, 2014 at 7:39 pm #

    This is great & sounds exactly right! I guess my question would be how does a wife do all of those things when the frequency is every day sometimes 2-3 times a day?!? How do we get the chance to desire & or initiate @ that frequency…?

  79. Rational Gal February 27, 2014 at 10:02 am #

    I like sex with my partner all the time in as many adventurous ways possible. It’s a stereotype that women want routine. It is, however, nice to know that there are guys willing to skip the degrading porn/billboard images to satisfy their needs. Nothing turns me off more than watching a guy get turned on by another woman. I think a lot of women feel this way but don’t give themselves permission to express it. All around, great article.

  80. Jessie February 27, 2014 at 1:57 pm #

    I just want to say that about 30-40% of my friends have husbands who do not feel this way- at all! The steriotype that men need sex is sick to me. There are a lot of marriages where the WOMAN feels sex deprived by a husband that doesn’t want frequent sex. This is not at all, in any way limited to a man. Sex is important in a relationship. To the women who think they are fine without it > they should imagine a husband who has no interest in it.

  81. Ron February 27, 2014 at 5:02 pm #

    Great blog! Appreciate the candor! The bottom line is that if the husband puts his wife’s needs and desires first and the wife puts her husband’s needs and desires first – it’s a win, win. Both are happy and content! I think this is what Paul meant when he wrote:
    “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” (2Cor. 7.3-4).
    The key word for each is “yield”; giving to each other; making it the sole aim of one to please the other.
    By the way, verse 5 makes it clear that frequent sex in the marriage relationship is a means of grace through which wives and husbands overcome sexual temptation. It’s amazing the problems and pitfalls that can be overcome by husbands and wives keep each other satisfied sexually.

  82. William Billy Coy Barbaro February 27, 2014 at 6:36 pm #

    Dear missionhusband,
    Ok, so how do I start this. After reading this post, I felt like you must have been reading my mind. I can not tell you how times I have said most of what you wrote only to have my beautiful wife roll her eyes at me. I have read many posts like this in the past, but never one that hit the mark so well. My wife after reading this, said that I have been telling her this for years and I think for the first time believe the both of us. You have giving us a much needed lift and we are looking at our future with a new found hope………….Many thanks, Bill

  83. Mauimomma February 28, 2014 at 9:53 am #

    This is generally true for most men I believe..most of which I already knew..however it is very one-sided. The message to me was that my husband needs sex a lot, wants me to initiate, to spice it up and be his porn star, to like it and be turned on and to be his student and learn everything that turns him on and if I do all those things..he’ll be a happy husband. What was not addressed was that I am happy to fulfill all his physical needs if I feel that my emotional needs are being met..turning me on and making me want you starts way before the bedroom..if my husband did more of what he did in the beginning of the relationship then maybe the sex would be more like it was in the beginning. Listen up boys; if your wife feels loved and cherished and appreciated outside of the bedroom, she’s more likely to return the favor in the bedroom.

    • Valerie February 28, 2014 at 9:55 am #

      I agree with you on the fact that men need to treat their wives well, but this post was aimed at wives. There are plenty of posts reminding guys to treat their wives well on mission husband’s blog

      • Mauimomma February 28, 2014 at 10:51 am #

        Fabulous! I think this is a great read for the women and very insightful! However, for the MEN reading this and thinking, “if I can just get my wife to read and apply, my prayers will be answered”….you might be met with a little resistance. You might want to think about what’s in your power to change..which is only yourself. If she’s a good woman, she’ll do the same…

      • tiffany johnson February 28, 2014 at 11:25 am #

        My husband never wants any of these things. He never wants to have sex and its me who wants him to want me and its me who is always initiating and sending him sexual texts every now and then and trying to get him interested in me and sex. What do u do when you’ve tried and done everything you can think of and he still doesn’t want you? 

  84. snowbaby April 1, 2014 at 8:39 am #

    I love this. Love everything about this post. I have to run out the door.. but if I had time I would sum this all up with .. I am so glad he shared this and I love this info.. thank you!

    • snowbaby April 1, 2014 at 8:45 am #

      oh and one more thing.. I hate the term ” getting laid “. That is so crass.. I didn’t get laid this morning, I had a really nice intimate moment with my husband and loved every second of it.. didn’t want him to go off to work. And I am wondering what he is thinking all day now at work? Does he think about it? Does he remember me? Just hate the term ” getting laid “. Its so .. ugly.

  85. Jessica April 3, 2014 at 5:23 pm #

    Good too know!

  86. Brooke:) April 4, 2014 at 3:00 pm #

    I actually got teary eyed from reading this because it hit so close to home. In the recent years, my hubby and I have not had an adventurous or frequent sex life because we have focused our time and energy on our children, school, work and home…, and then each other. We make up for it by exchanging material gifts. (Boring and ineffective!!!) Our “naughty toys” have been stashed in the back of the closet for 3-4 long years. I have noticed my husbands confidence as a man has greatly decreased, no matter how much I tell him I love him and appreciate him! I would do anything to bring his self esteem back to where it used to be when he could literally conquer the world!!! Now, I understand and am so grateful for this blog! I love my husband dearly and I think he IS the sexiest, most amazing man in this world! Now, I have an idea as to how to make him feel like he is that person to me again! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  87. mama katlego April 6, 2014 at 10:23 pm #

    Thank you

  88. akosidoraemon April 9, 2014 at 1:34 am #

    Seems like you’ve nailed it all, Im one of the 97 out of 100 men who loves this kind of treatment and I just wanna say Im so proud my wife need not to read this blog to satisfy me with sex because I feel that the feeling is mutual between us. She tells me it turns her on seeing me thoroughly enjoying what she does and even wanting to do more. She tells me how many orgasms she had and how hot I am that just bursts out my self esteem. Well I am just a 5’4″ guy weighing 75k… But i do believe her when she says I am hot..lol

  89. robin April 10, 2014 at 6:26 pm #

    Great article.

  90. Peter April 19, 2014 at 10:36 am #

    thanks for this nice write up…..it is inspiring

  91. Jessica May 4, 2014 at 1:59 pm #

    In response to #7:
    I absolutely HATE IT when my hubby asks if I want to have sex. It makes it feel so… blah!
    Great read though!

  92. Angie May 5, 2014 at 5:03 pm #

    I enjoyed reading your guest post. In my relationship your post makes me feel like the guy. It wasn’t always that way. When we first got together physically, his sexual appetite was huge. He would pull me in the bedroom at any time we were alone. As soon as we got in bed at night his arms were around me and away we’d go. I would wake him up when I was in the mood and he would wake me up. It was non stop flirting with each other neverm passing by without a kiss. About three months ago that all stopped. Now its like he doesn’t even care about sex or even cuddling. I start everything. I’m 40 and he is 34. Whats wrong?

    • Shelly June 1, 2014 at 6:50 pm #

      Have you looked into a pornography problem. Its the elephant in many role reversal situations. Know this with out question you are loved and adored by your creator. Knit perfectly together. You are desired and loved by an adoring God and through him all things are possible. Praying for you Angie.

  93. Sean Higgins May 12, 2014 at 6:30 am #

    I think you are spot on with this. I wish my wife and I had a normal marriage. It’s been stressful for so long that its a miracle if we do it once every 6 weeks. It was numerous times a weekend when we were dating. Whenever I bring it up and try to talk about it, she accuses me of just wanting her as a sex toy and not as a wife. The sad part is , we were never like this before.

  94. Tiffany May 14, 2014 at 3:13 pm #

    Is there any women on this comment board who thinks they are a man after reading this. I sure do! I kind of want to copy and paste this into a word document, switch the gender roles, and print it out for my husband! It’s weird, everything a man goes through relates to me. My husband is always the one rejecting me.

  95. Capitan May 20, 2014 at 12:47 am #

    Ooooh lord god bless smart people and why we are the way we are as men. My wife came across this and FINALLY she understands me. I’m now relaxed with her apology and our intimate night. I’m sleeping good tonight. Thank you again.

  96. Howdy! Would you mind if I share your blog with my facebook group?
    There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content.
    Please let me know. Cheers

  97. Shelly June 1, 2014 at 6:45 pm #

    I appreciated this read. I fell into it because my husband is away and I wanted to flirt with him. The problem is this and its piercing. My husband had a porn problem for some time. I can walk in front of him naked and I might as well be Mother Theresa. Its gotten better but my heart aches to be wanted and desired in this way. We have arguments about it often and I feel as if Im broken and one of a million other women. I don’t know what to do anymore, he says he no longer looks and is an amazing father and husband. I initiate love making and he is just a robot. He could go weeks with out even mentioning it. Its gotten better thank God for that. Just hard to read things like this. I cried out to God asking why he allowed me to stumble upon this. Pray for me, my thoughts wander to times when Other men desired me. I have a beautiful family and I know thats a lie. Thanks for sharing.

  98. artie short June 4, 2014 at 10:45 am #

    Best and most honest article I have ever read…I’ve complained about, just about everything single thing in the article to my wife…great job letting women know how men really feel….

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Ten Things Every Husband Wishes His Wife Knew About Sex, But Doesn’t Know Quite How To Tell Her « mission:husband - August 5, 2012

    [...] Click to continue reading on mission:wife Share this:TwitterFacebookEmailPinterestLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. [...]

  2. 10 Things He Wishes you Knew About Sex – But doesn’t want to Tell You - August 24, 2012

    [...] 10 Things Husbands Wish Their Wives knew about Sex [...]

  3. Day 10: Building Respect Habits {Respond Physically} | Brenner Bunch - February 27, 2014

    […] beg you to read this article, written by a man. It should open your eyes and bless your marriage. Ten Things Every Husband Wishes His Wife Knew About Sex. One quote I absolutely loved was: “If your husband is working hard to avert his eyes from […]

  4. Day 17: Building Respect Habits | Brenner Bunch - March 7, 2014

    […] visual beings and putting a wedding ring on his left finger does not negate that truth. I love what this husband wrote HERE about […]

  5. Ten Things Every Husband Wishes His Wife Knew About Sex | On The Upside - March 10, 2014

    […] if you want to understand your husband, or boyfriend, a little more when it comes to sex. Click on over here. Read up and let me know what you think about his points and whether or not you agree. Then go jump […]

  6. thoughts on marriage by Angie | ammojane - April 3, 2014

    […] This brings me to the final idea in today’s marriage ramblings. Sorry if it makes some people squirm, but it is real and it is important. Another wise friend (Ammojane herself) gave this advice at a bridal shower, concerning intimacy. “Decide that you are going to love it”.  I found this to be profound. Over the years I have heard women cheer about, complain about, or simply endure sex. I have witnessed marriages fall apart with this lack of connection as a contributing factor. Understanding that this God given gift exists to solidify marriage bonds and bring happiness to both husband and wife is something that I wish all could have.  This article does such a great job of explaining this aspect that men and women often don’t see in the same way. http://missionwife.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/10-things-sex/ […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 478 other followers

%d bloggers like this: